8-6-2026 Getting to know Stephen
Or is it Steven? Does it matter? Not as much as other things
Early afternoon in the summer, shade is essential. grass helps a lot too
Mateo doesn’t want to walk far, but we make it to fox park
After trading somber neighborhood gossip with a neighbor and his dogs, Mateo and I bounce from one shady island of grass to another until we impose on Stephen's island
shirtless, shoeless, sitting on a blanket I'd learn he just found
I'd guess Stephen is probably in his late 30s or early to mid 40s
He kept his head down until I said hello. then he looks my direction with blood shot eyes
He’s fidgeting a bit is open to conversation
so here we go
Stephen says his medicare disability status makes it hard to have recovery programs covered
as opposed to medicaid
I asked about the neighborhood clinic, State of the Heart
He says he had a couple of good months there. Working the program, in housing, attending group, etc
But he relapsed
Before long I learn of his 2 kids, an ex-wife on the east coast and a quick summary of his last 5-ish years in ABQ
By most definitions, he has been having a hard time
He’s smart and talks about gardening, growing mushrooms and his interest in selling mushrooms at farmers market stand
He also tells me how his alcohol use ruined his marriage along with the regret and shame of being so distant from his childrens’ lives
He'd like to have the means to travel back to the east coast.
To have a presence in his 10-year-old son's life. His 19-year-old daughter is doing well, he says.
He barely holds back tears as he tells me that he wants to bring the parental presence he lacked when growing up
Followed by recounting memories of his parents and close family members struggling with their own vices as he grew up
He apologies for crying and cursing (not much, really) and kindly rejects my offer to switch topics
We talk work, respect, recovery, relapse and the difficulties of making changes and building trust
neighborhood resources, shelters, religion and community
mixed in with the heavy we also share personal stories like trips driving up Mt. Washington (NH) and making sure to get the bumper sticker
simple but nice
It's an enjoyable but taxing conversation for both of us
As we wrap up the conversation and Mateo and I begin to walk away, Stephen promises that he’ll be better the next time I see him.
I nodded, said something pithy with a soft smile and continued walking home